keelahsomethigh:

when u hurt ur boob

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lindsaylohoean:

me when i get a better grade than the best student in my class

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shaxaphone:

cute things to call your girlfriend:

1. sugar 
2. honey 
3. flour 
4. egg 
5. 1/2lb butter 
6. stir 
7. pour into pan 
8. preheat to 375°

geromykyle:

do u ever just remember your friends have genitals and get weirded out for a second

groupons:

Care about nature. Plant a tree. Hug a tree. Hug a cactus. Shove some dirt up your ass. Recycle.

guy:

when the artist u hate releases a catchy song

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Disney Endings

dyannehs:

dyannehs:

HOLY SHIT.  MY NEIGHBOUR IS SCREAMING AT HER BOYFRIEND.  Yeah, the two that keep me up at odd hours of the night. AND I’M ONLY PICKING UP BITS AND PIECES BECAUSE HE’S NOT SHOUTING BUT I’M FAIRLY POSITIVE HE JUST TOLD HER HE’S GAY AND THAT HE’S BEEN CHEATING ON HER WITH HIS BOYFRIEND.

UPDATE.  UPDATE.  HE’S CHEATING ON HER WITH HER BROTHER.

SON OF A BITCH IT’S LIKE A BAD SOAP OPERA EPISODE.

oknope:

i think im emotionally constipated because i haven’t given a shit in months

joshhutchercat:

my heart says yes but my mom says no

bombing:

[tries to crowd surf at a TED talk]